Dawn magic

I woke up today at 4am, and I relived why I love waking up at daybreak.

Sky's pitch black, and everything is still. It's stormy in south Thailand now, but waking up in the stillness gave me that feeling of being in a cocoon.

I like waking up before everyone else because it lets me be with myself. I remember thinking this morning, "This is bliss." My creativity and concentration is at its finest before the first hint of sunlight, and I feel I can do anything.

Pag kasi gising na lahat ng tao, nakakaasar na magtrabaho.

In the stillness, I can think. In the quiet, I can concentrate. There is a hum of well-being, and I feel all is right with the world. I can write, I can think straight, I can hear my heart speak what it truly wants to do--and that is doing what it wants without being disturbed or interrupted.

Pero pagsikat ng araw, at paggising ng mga kapitbahay, wala na. Magulo ang mga tao e; andaming demands sa oras. Their very presence rattles me.

Pag may araw na, the magic is gone. Pakiramdam ko laging may nakamasid; hindi ako mapalagay. Hindi ako makakilos ng gusto ko. Laging pigil-hininga. Constrained. I dread the day kasi naiisip ko, "emails na naman; people na naman; computer na naman!"

This should not be the case. Hindi ako dapat mabuhay ng ganito. Kailangang may magbago.

But in the meantime, I am glad to just have relived that moment of peace and calm. Happy ako to feel like I used to when I still woke up before daybreak. I should do it more often.

Maybe one day, when I get my own place with a view of the sea.