Season 2, Episode 1

Celebrating one year ago today, when I started my Biyaheng Bakawan blog.

Godspeed, one and all.

Let's get ready for the new ride!!!

Reboot

In the last few minutes of my birthday, I want to say this: It's always a joy to find renewed hope and strength when one is in the lowest of dumps.

Thirty one.

What a whirlwind year it's been. I just kissed thirty goodbye one night ago, and now, I'm embracing the first of my fourth decade. I'm staring adulthood in the face. How nerve-wracking. Yet what I like about this is not having seen this side of myself before, and all things considered, it's not too bad. Thirty-one is not a scary other side of the coin; it's not greyness and decrepitude. It's actually...the same, only better.

Today I have witnessed my system crash, and shut down. And that's not a bad thing. I think I needed to crash and burn on my 30th year. It was the only way I could turn my inner switch back on.

It's time to Reboot.

The People in my Neigborhood

It's amazing who you meet in the corridors.

Today we met Walter, the Belgian French-speaking pianist who lives one floor below, and he was a great talker. Philippe just chatted him up en Francaise, so they conversed in French, naturellement. I joined the elevator, so being polite, chirped 'Bon soire'. Walter was pleased, Elle parle francaise? To which my beloved said, in perfect English, "Just a bit". Ah, bon, said our new friend.

We live in a 9-storey condominium unit, low key, in a cul-de-sac street. Not really high profile, but according to this gentleman, houses great personalities. Walter relayed the story of one of the first tenants here, who's been living at the 9th floor for the last 20 years: he was the counselor of the counselor of the King of Thailand. There was also Monsieur Lieutenant General, the first Thai who graduated from the London School of Aviation (yes, Khun Lieutenant was a pilot). 

Then there was Marco, the Chef in Bangkok's premiere Italian Restaurant L'Opera, who lives at the 9th. There was the Italian dude at the fifth, who was the go-to guy for anything Italian. We were promptly given a small pint of Italian traditional cheese to sample that Signore's produce.

Walter says that Bangkok is full of surprising personalities. My favorite story was how Walter, a piano teacher by profession, knew the Dalai Lama's personal adviser--also a pianist himself. "This man," Walter said, "is Spielman's son's best friend." That promptly gave me goosebumps; The Pianist's (from the Polanski film) son was three degrees from me just by speaking to my neighbor one floor down.

There are other stories, like the Yakuza who opens the door in his briefs; about the crazy lady from the 7th floor; and the former owner of L'Opera who sold his resto to a German for 60 million big ones.

Walter promptly invited us to have Happy Hour at the Italian Restaurant across the street one day, where we can dine on cheese and fresh bread avec Sangiovese, all for less than THB300. And then, in a gesture of hospitality, gifted us with a packet of authentic Japanese green tea and a box of Ceylon apple infusion, which he had in abundance as supplied by his piano students.

It was a good evening meeting the neighbors. I think I'm liking them already.

Exciting!

Season 2 started with a BANG.

Oh yes, it's an explosive season premiere, and man, was it a rollercoaster of an episode today. Ibang klase talaga to work at a Regional Office.

Siyempre, drama queen that I am, merong may-I-cry-with-matching-hagulgol moment ngayon. Nothing alarming, the pressure to do well (overachiever kasi ang inyong lingkod) was just too much. Nakakaloka, buti na lang I have another language to fall back on. Imagine, kung Ingles lang ang wika ko, ang boring siguro ng buhay ko! Ang saya saya magTagalog ngayon, lalo na to make taas my kilay with matching rolling of the eyes and raising the shoulders. Sarap ilabas ang inner bakla to make taray, I swear. Without going into the gory details, this week packed a wallop in the stress category. Mega super gigantic humongous over sa sobra as in tremendous talaga!

If what I'm writing sounds like incomprehensible gibberish to you, then, my dear reader, you have fully understood my day today.

I'm just thankful for music (the Rat Pack, thank you Mr. Chairman of the Board), for my family (love to Mama and Papa), and my cherished Cheri (without you, hun, I would have had a terrible meltdown by now. mwah! mwah!)

Buti na lang din, may Diyos akong makapangyarihan at napakahenerosong magmahal. Amen!

Oh, and such great timing too. Actually, I celebrated my 11th month in Bkk on Monday, and wow, coming full circle soon. Woohooo!

As I close this entry, Ol' Blue Eyes was crooning, "Dream your dream!"

Season Finale: Mangroving in Krabi

I love great season enders, and in my teleserye life, I think today is the best season ender for Biyaheng Bakawan Season 1.

Remember, I started this blog almost a year ago. Episode 1 was 'The Big Move', when I flew to Bangkok on the eve of my 30th birthday. Only the hotel front desk officer wished me happy birthday then, because no one in this land knew I was celebrating my third decade that day. Episode 2 was 'Clear as Mud', when I was unsure of what I was doing in Bangkok chasing my mangrove dream (sabi nga ni Lourd Ernest deVeyra, "Nakaka-t*ng*n* this, di ba?"). Episode 3 was 'Sri Lanka: The Emerald Isle'; then, Episode 4 'Buddha Bless You' immediately followed by 'Pilipinas Kong Mahal'.

'Pas de parle Americain' (I and II) was a two-part episode concluded by 'BS kayong lahat!!!' (I was having a very uneasy first and second quarters).  Ilang episodes na ba? I think I have at least 13, complete with a season break when I went back home to Manila this June ('Time Out'). There was also this most tumultuous time in Phuket when I went through my Eureka moment ('Joie de Vivre'). Then came the Season CliffHangers, 'Oui, Je T'aime Aussi' and 'Route 66' (remind me to write about these later). I think today is the best day, though, and today is the Season Finale.

I call it "I, Mangrover."

Yep, I've come full circle in my mangrove-chasing career. I've reached my pinnacle. Today, I reconnected with one of the mangrove world's foremost mangrove heroes (Dr. Norm Duke, the original Dr. Jones of the mangroving world). Tomorrow, I celebrate my 100th* visit to a mangrove forest, and it's in the Krabi estuary, a RAMSAR site. I've been chasing mangroves since I was 10, and for 20 years, it's been a great journey. Since devoting my early career to mangroves, I've been all over the Philippines, and almost all over the world. I've been to Singapore; to Viet Nam; to Malaysia; to France; to New Zealand; to Sri Lanka; and to Thailand. Ibang klase talaga ang buhay kasama ng mga bakawan!

Tapos na ang Season 1. Ano kaya ang darating sa Season 2?

Abangan!


*indicative of how I lost count of how many mangrove forests I've seen and visited in the past 10 years

Dawn magic

I woke up today at 4am, and I relived why I love waking up at daybreak.

Sky's pitch black, and everything is still. It's stormy in south Thailand now, but waking up in the stillness gave me that feeling of being in a cocoon.

I like waking up before everyone else because it lets me be with myself. I remember thinking this morning, "This is bliss." My creativity and concentration is at its finest before the first hint of sunlight, and I feel I can do anything.

Pag kasi gising na lahat ng tao, nakakaasar na magtrabaho.

In the stillness, I can think. In the quiet, I can concentrate. There is a hum of well-being, and I feel all is right with the world. I can write, I can think straight, I can hear my heart speak what it truly wants to do--and that is doing what it wants without being disturbed or interrupted.

Pero pagsikat ng araw, at paggising ng mga kapitbahay, wala na. Magulo ang mga tao e; andaming demands sa oras. Their very presence rattles me.

Pag may araw na, the magic is gone. Pakiramdam ko laging may nakamasid; hindi ako mapalagay. Hindi ako makakilos ng gusto ko. Laging pigil-hininga. Constrained. I dread the day kasi naiisip ko, "emails na naman; people na naman; computer na naman!"

This should not be the case. Hindi ako dapat mabuhay ng ganito. Kailangang may magbago.

But in the meantime, I am glad to just have relived that moment of peace and calm. Happy ako to feel like I used to when I still woke up before daybreak. I should do it more often.

Maybe one day, when I get my own place with a view of the sea.

Post-prawn fried rice moments (Ode to Nay Juliet of LaCo 93)

Mahirap palang maging masaya.

Kapag pala pinili mo ang landas ng Pagiging Masaya, dudumugin ka ng mga tao ("Hayup!"), bagay, at pangyayari na pilit maglalayo sa'yo sa landas na pinili mo.

Trust me. I know.

Today was a long day, and as much as I am tempted to say that today is the "longest, hardest day" of my life, I won't label today as such. Because honestly, I've had worse. Particularly on certain days during my 24th, 26th, and 28th years. Now, I'm no numerologist or superstition fanatic--but I'm starting to believe that my even-number years are my most unbearable ones. Anyway, I'm digressing.

Back to today. I've never felt so drained and so spent, and so emotionally distraught. Today I have encountered the most combative, abrasive, and condescending moments I have ever received in my professional career. Thank goodness I have a great God who reminds me about what is truly important. And, I am fortunate to have a sense of humor ("I am Jack Sparrow!"), and a dedicated quest to follow the path of happiness.

Simple lang ang gusto ko. Ayoko ng drama, ayoko ng mga mala-divang eksena. Ang gusto ko, umuwi ng bahay pagkatapos ng trabaho, at hindi mag-isip ng tungkol sa trabaho. Gusto ko, walang homework. Ayoko ring magkaroon ng kulubot sa mukha; lalong ayoko ng puting buhok bago ako tumanda!

Hindi worth it ang maglaan ng halos kalahati ng buhay ko sa isang trabaho na ikamamatay ko.

Kaya nga pinili kong maging masaya. Pinipili ko ito araw-araw, kahit mahirap, kahit nakakaloka. Kahit pa isipan ng iba na ako'y medyo kakaiba. Pinipili kong maging masaya.

Pero, mind you, mahirap maging masaya.

NB: Masaya in Filipino means "Happy". Maging masaya means "to be happy". Mahirap means "difficult". When I was having a hard time growing up as an adolescent, and happiness seemed so far away, my favorite freshman high school teacher would always end her Reflectionaire (personal journal) notes with "Be happy!" She always told me this long after I left high school. Love you Nay Juliet...I miss your guiding presence so much! As I pass through this most difficult time, I remember you, and how you kept telling us to "Wag yung pangit ang tingnan, wag yung kulang" (Don't dwell on the ugly, don't dwell on the loss). Nay, thank you so much for giving me the foundation to be strong. God bless you. Be happy!

Attending adult kindy

I just discovered that the fitness club is the adult form of kindergarten.

I recently availed of my office's staff development program and signed up for group exercises in the local health club. I like the whole routine of one hour after work, running and walking on the treadmill or doing regular stretches. I even tried Zumba! and discovered my inner diva (makes me miss my bakla days back home!) Today, I joined a circuit training class called 'Lose It!'. I thought it was a serious cardio-aerobics class, but to my surprise, it was playtime with grown-ups.

"Okay! Welcome to Lose It! Today, we run! Run! Jog! March! That's right, lift your feet! Yey!"

We were three full grown people, and we were jumping, hopping, skipping and running. We even tossed light purple balls around. It seemed like foolish, childlike play time during recess, but wow! What a work out!

I relished the idea that grown ups get to be kids again in posh fitness clubs, and I already signed up for the next class.

Befriending my Computer, Part 2

I have made peace with my computer.

A little more than a fortnight later, I managed to navigate the little black beast. I even learned how to use Mind Maps (another software I used to abhor), but because the application allowed me to map the entire structure of my computer drive (hallelujah!), I appreciated its use.

Now, the saga continues. System requirements: reboot!

Postscript: thanks to Paul Staincliffe of AgResearch for pointing me in the right direction, and Ian Witten of Web Dragons lore (aka University of Waikato's Computer Science Department) for providing the context of digital library management. Of course, to mon cheri Philippe, for letting me befriend my computer in the most painless way possible.

Befriending my computer

I don't like computers.

I think computers are cold, alienating objects that rob people of personal connections. They're also a big liability, consuming tremendous amounts of electricity and crashing during the most critical moments. Ironically, I use a computer everyday. At least eight hours, in fact. I write with it, read with it, and sometimes, talk through it. And I hate it every time I use it.

As much as possible, I avoid using the computer. I leave my work unit at the office, and I grudgingly use my personal one at home. I have begun to harbor secret jealousy over that computer, which I feel Philippe spends more time with during the week than with me. Never mind if Philippe is a computer scientist by vocation; I still resent that black Compaq beast he stares into whenever he's with it.

These days, however, I face my biggest challenge yet: I have to organize a digital library. I knew it was only a matter of time until the universe conspired against me and handed me a mandate to face my most abhorred task: working fulltime with computers.

I understand how inevitable computers are nowadays. These machines are the tools for our trade: they are the new pen and paper; the new card catalogue; the new photo album. But what I dislike so much about them, is their immense dependency on the user--the blasted things won't work properly unless you tell them to do so!

Concrete example: in the olden days, when I saw something in my head, I either drew it on paper or constructed it using materials I've gathered. I then present it to people, or package and send it through post. Now, because people can work "remotely" and needs "graphics" to verbalize what's in their head, the ideas need to be "saved in a Word document"; "illustrated using Adobe"; or "uploaded through Picasa Web". To perform all these, I need to use the computer. Bah, humbug!

Obviously, I'm having a paradigm shift. As with any life-altering event, this is going to take a while.

Computer, befriend thyself!

Nine months and counting

Last time I wrote here I was promising myself a good year. And writing about international karaoke. And talking about mangroves.

Since then, I've travelled to East Thailand, South Thailand, and Viet Nam. I've gone island hopping, river boating, and mangrove pubpeabing (Thai traditional respectful pose on a Rhizophora root). I've eaten durian and sticky rice; doggy lechon (thit cho--in my defense, I thought it was roast pork on the plate); and crispy crickets.

On March, Philippe and I welcomed our first house guest from New Zealand/Philippines. Amar Durakovic was a great house warmer, and we enjoyed reviving a tradition born in Hamilton: The Film Club now lives in Bangkok.

April and June were interesting because I went back home to Manila and brought Philippe along with me. I am so delighted that my family adored him, and now I'm in trouble because my dad likes him a lot (they're allies now). My baby brother Aaron married his longtime sweetheart Sallee, and I received news that my cousin Ejie in the States is set to welcome his firstborn soon (as I write, my first pamangkin Layla Sophia Cortez is happily snuggling in her cot). My Ninang's labrador Sophie had a new litter, and Papa's Persian cat Ichiko is growing at a phenomenal rate.

The month of May was sabai-sabai ('feevty-feevty'). It wasn't my best month. The shining moment was a weekend at Danmoen Saduak, the popular Thai floating market. Reliving the action scenes in Bangkok Dangerous was exhilarating.

Amidst the flurry of activities, I've done a lot of soul searching and career learning. It seemed like freshman year again; I felt the urge to 'shift'. After six months of working on my first regional post, I felt I was failing miserably. Everything I worked on seemed to move at snail's pace, and everyone in senior management around me left the office for other careers. I even felt I was drifting away from my beloved mangroves, and I seriously asked myself, "Do I still want to do this?" In one of my journal entries, I wrote in desperation, "I've forgotten what I love to do!"

I am really grateful for Philippe's generosity through it all. During one of my more doleful pity-parties, he stood by me, patiently hearing me out. Bless his kind heart (of course, the Phuket beach air helped a bit, too).

In a last ditch attempt to pull myself out of the dumps, I jumped on a small grants field trip with project managers and we sailed off to the second largest mangrove forest in Thailand. As I was weaving my way around Rhizophoras and quietly admiring the Bruguieras, I asked God and the mangroves, "Lord, do I really have to give up my dream? Is it time to stop my mangrove chasing?" As if on cue, the Thailand coordinator asks me to pubpeab (sit squat-style, with knees folded and palms facing together in a prayer pose) on Rhizophora roots. I gamely do, and I tell you, it was as if I sat on a mother's lap. Serenity on earth.

As our boat was sailing out into the river, I looked at the mangrove canopy and saw two white egrets fly. At that moment, I felt at peace. My spirit was reassured. God was telling me to not lose heart. If I love, I must take both the good and the bad.

My mangrove journey will have its rough spots (and boring times), but it will always have its shining moments. I realize that there are no perfect career places, but there will always be family and people who inspire me to carry on.

Salamat sa mga mahal ko sa buhay, andito pa rin ako.
(Thanks to those I love, I'm still here.)

Mangroves and Knowledge on a Sunday Brunch

How uncanny it is to find two of my favored topics on the same table today over Sunday brunch. It was such a breath of fresh air to speak of mangroves and knowledge management with teenagers on their way to making a difference in the realms of geography and the sciences. Bless the parents who encourage them, and the schools that allow them to explore possibilities. I hope that these young 'uns keep cultivating their curiosity and creativity.

What's more fascinating is to have the conversation both in English (moi) and French (sila). Tapos, mga Pilipina rin sila. Astig di ba? Best of all worlds, all a la table. Goodness knows where my passion for mangroves will take me next.

(Complimentary plug for the Bangkok Guide for Kids, by Kids. Authored by Andrea and Ines Dumont. The comprehensive guide is not just for Kids, but for adults too. Maraming salamat, Pamilya Dumont, sa pagtanggap sa amin ni Philippe. Pagpalain kayo!)

Milestone on the 3-month mark

I just came back from an all night international karaoke.

It was pretty cool to see people threshing out their cathartic moments on a microphone accompanied by music and lyrics from a big screen. I never thought I could sing Thai, but hey, it works. I found that singing "Chimi-chimi-ah-ah!" works very well for my tonal range.

I turned three months in Thailand on 12th January, and before that day, I was in Chiang Mai, seeing the country and scaling its heights. It was a great achievement for me, jumping on that bus, with people who could only speak the most basic of English, and who probably had no clue that I was Pinoy. I used to be terrified of venturing out my street by myself, but on my third month in this Kingdom, I find myself mustering up the courage to go beyond my familiar street zones. I am slowly warming up to this place. I am feeling the urge to explore my new 'hood.

So tonight, after witnessing how much coke and whisky people can have while singing 6 hours of karaoke non-stop, and how many different kinds of dance moves can be applied to the songs of the Backstreet Boys, I think I'm ready for more city exploring.

Chai, chai. Yiam ma!

Happy 2011

Masaganang Bagong Taon mga Kaibigan!

I wrote a while back saying that once my apartment is clean, I will be ready to take on my new city with gusto and bravado. I have, and I am. Over the last new year holiday, I stayed at my flat, cleaned my kitchen, my cupboard and my floors. My flat is all gleaming and fresh smelling now, and is already looking more like a home. I celebrated by going out on my first ever New Year's Party (yes, yes, with the alcohol, and the beef, and the revelry, and the fireworks too). I met a Thai Darth Vader (posed for a photo too), and saw how much His Majesty the King is revered by the Thai people. I spent the night with new friends in a new environment, and I was just amazed at how efficient public transportation is in the city (sky train open until 2 am, oh I love commuting!). I cleaned, did the laundry, and completely unpacked during the first three days of the year, and on the fourth of January I was ready for work. It was a good way to start the year.

Today, everybody noted how happy I looked. Your eyes shine now, they say. Good sign, I say. Looks like I've settled in.

Happy new year indeed.